Barigord Gaming Weekly – 07/26/23 – Revisiting Wizards Against Apples

sliced apple beside brown handled knife

Almost everyone who’s ever been involved in a Barigord Studios adventure has been passionate for gaming! We love board games, table games, video games, roleplaying games, and game shows! This post is best viewed on the home site.

Last week’s post can be found here.

Hey gamers! Are you tired of playing conventional Magic the Gathering, with all of its deadly seriousness? I mean the game has both Murder and Murder of Crows, so all bases covered there.

Many players, like myself, long for mindless fun. And it’s just not enough to turn a bunch of goblins sideways regardless of the consequences. We want laughs. Lots of them. We will also accepts lols, laffs, and larfs. But we want them.

You’re the Inspiration

There is a category of games known as ‘party games’ that are often good for laughs. They differ subtly from ‘family games,’ mainly because the people playing ‘party games’ are generally assumed to be adults with drinks.

Party games often lack win conditions, or have ones that are closer to a time limit than anything reflecting player achievement. The real win condition is having fun.

Two extremely popular party games are actually pretty much the same game. Apples to Apples is a game of fun comparisons, where players match a card from their hand to one drawn by the dealer and hope the dealer thinks theirs is the best match. Cards Against Humanity is more of a fill-in-the-blanks version, but convincing the dealer your answer is best is the same. Cards Against Humanity is well known for being gross, obscene, snarky, etc.

Both games are really similar in a lot of ways to the old Match Game, a TV game show from the 1970s. They probably stole it from somewhere else.

But for Wizards

I’m always on the lookout for interesting ways to use otherwise irrelevant Magic cards. The chaff, bulk, or whatever it is that normally sits in boxes in the bottom of the closet hoping for some future printing that elevates one of them above the pile into dollar-plus land. The dream.

A lot of Magic cards are little more than a fun name, which actually serves our purposes perfectly. The more fun, the better! Your time to shine has come, Fissure Wizard!

Several years ago, I adapted the Apples to Apples/Cards Against Humanity/Match Game to use Magic cards. Since then, I’ve been adding cards from most new sets. It’s not something I’d buy specific cards for, and the cards come from my pack chaff, but it’s a fun group of names. The list is below.

I’ve also got an updated list of prompts. What are prompts? Well, the game works by each player taking their turn to read a prompt. This is a sentence or two that contains a blank, where any noun (person, place or thing) could be inserted.

Then players choose from the cards in their hand, and each gives one to the reader. The reader shuffles them up, then rereads the prompt, adding the first card’s name in the blank. Then repeats for each other card. We ideally all laugh at each one, because they are funny, and then the reader chooses their favourite, and that player gets a point.

For example, the prompt might be: ‘My Uncle Larry had a bad cold, and his voice sounded like he swallowed a (Blank). Players look through their cards and choose things like Hurloon Minotaur or Moss Monster. Hilarious!

We start players with 5 cards in hand, and roll a couple D6 to figure out the first reader, but those rules aren’t too binding. We track points by giving the player who won the point all the cards from the round. Then the tallest stack wins. Simple!

Prompt Me a List

Here are the updated Prompts!

And here is the list of cards currently in the box:

Wizards Against Apples Box

Adventurous Impulse
Aggressive Urge
Ancient Crab
Arrogant Poet
Automatic Librarian
Baffling End
Bag of Holding
Bartered Cow
Bear’s Companion
Beloved Princess
Big Play
Big Score
Bird Admirer
Birthday Escape
Bitter Reunion
Blinding Spray
Blossom Prancer
Bone Saw
Brain Weevil
Bumbling Pangolin
Cave People
Citizen’s Arrest
Civil Servant
Clam Session
Cleanup Crew
Combo Attack
Consuming Sinkhole
Corrosive Ooze
Crawling Chorus
Crawling Sensation
Crooked Custodian
Crystal Grotto
Crystal Slipper
Daring Escape
Dead Weight
Depths of Desire
Dirty Rat
Disappearing Act
Discerning Taste
Dismal Backwater
Doomed Traveler
Door to Nothingness
Dragon Grip
Dramatist’s Puppet
Dreams of Steel and Oil
Early Frost
Emergency Weld
Enlightened Maniac
Entirely Normal Armchair
Extremely Slow Zombie
Failed Inspection
Fan Favorite
Feisty Stegosaurus
Field Trip
First Come, First Served
Fissure Wizard
Five-Finger Discount
Flow of Knowledge
Fork in the Road
Fountain of Youth
Free-Range Chicken
Fungal Infection
Garbage Fire
Geology Enthusiast
Giant Cockroach
Giant Slug
Giant Spectacle
Glamorous Outlaw
Gluttonous Slug
Goblin Picker
Ground Pounder
Growth Spurt
Gruesome Deformity
Gutter Skulker
Hammer Jammer
Hard Evidence
Headstrong Brute
Helium Squirter
Hoarding Recluse
Honey Mammoth
Hot Fix
Hypnotic Swirly Disc
Illusion of Choice
Improvised Club
Incubation Sac
Inferno Fist
Insufferable Balladeer
Involuntary Cooldown
Irresistible Prey
Isolation Zone
Jousting Dummy
Jousting Lance
Junkyard Genius
Just Desserts
Just the Wind
Kindly Stranger
Last One Standing
Launch Party
Lay of the Land
Lethal Vapors
Long Road Home
Mad Science Fair Project
Magic Word
Magnifying Glass
Many Partings
Mental Journey
Millennial Gargoyle
Mind Rot
Moment of Craving
Moment of Triumph
Monkey Monkey Monkey
Mother Bear
Mother Kangaroo
Mysterious Egg
Nagging Thoughts
Nasty End
Night Clubber
Night Terrors
Noble Steeds
Nosy Goblin
Numbing Jellyfish
Ominous Parcel
One-Eyed Scarecrow
Ordinary Pony
People of the Woods
Pirate’s Prize
Pop Quiz
Potion of Healing
Pressure Point
Prying Eyes
Public Execution
Rabid Wombat
Really Epic Punch
Record Store
Restless Bones
Righteous Blow
Riot Control
Rock Badger
Rogues’ Gallery
Rooftop Nuisance
Rookie Mistake
Rusted Relic
Screeching Buzzard
Scuttling Butler
Sea Legs
Search Warrant
Seal of Doom
Second Breakfast
Second Guess
Second Thoughts
Secret Base
Secret Door
Self-Inflicted Wound
Shattered Ego
Sinister Starfish
Sixth Sense
Slime Molding
Sludge Monster
Smuggler Captain
Solitary Camel
Spare Supplies
Spell Snuff
Spontaneous Combustion
Spontaneous Mutation
Squelching Leeches
Squirrel Nest
Stab Wound
Star Pupil
Stealth Mission
Sticky Fingers
Stimulus Package
Storm Crow
Study Break
Stymied Hopes
Sudden Breakthrough
Sudden Storm
Supply Drop
Suspicious Bookcase
Swift Kick
Tapping at the Window
Task Force
Tavern Scoundrel
Tavern Swindler
Teacher’s Pet
Team Spirit
Tempting Witch
The Brute
The Stone Brain
Thirsting Roots
Tidal Wave
Timely Interference
Tooth Collector
Tormenting Voice
Toxic Abomination
Tragic Poet
Treasure Trove
Trusty Companion
Trusty Packbeast
Ultimate Price
Uncomfortable Chill
Unexplained Disappearance
Unholy Heat
Universal Solvent
Unnatural Endurance
Unruly Mob
Voice of the Vermin
Vow of Wildness
Walking Skyscraper
Wall of Wood
Wandering Mind
Warped Physique
Wedding Invitation
Well of Lost Dreams
When Fluffy Bunnies Attack
Wild Crocodile
Wretched Camel

*The box also include Jumpstart deck title cards ‘Legion,’ ‘Beast Territory,’ and ‘Under the Sea.’


If you look around the web, you can find a lot of people who are down on Magic for a variety of reasons. A common one of those is the amount of valueless cards around. It’s assumed the complaining party is running low on closet bottom.

But there are a lot of ways to use cards, even the ones where the text box, stats, and mana cost are all fails. Wizards Against Apples is one of those ways, focusing only on the name.

It’s important to remember that value is relative, and defined by context. As Commander’s popularity grew, some previously bad, worthless cards changed completely. Commander is a casual format, where the goal is fun. Something to think about when dismissing a card to the bulk box, especially if it gives you a laugh.

Thanks for reading!

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